All ok?
I think so.
I'm not very good with technology.
Can you just say some stuff there for the mic?
Yeah, like?
Like what?
Tell me what you had for breakfast.
I had Corn Flakes for breakfast.
They were very nice.
Is that how you're gonna be?
Like, volume?
- Yeah, I think so. - Yeah. Ok, grand.
Is that okay?
Yep.
Ok...
Interview with Louise
Findlater Place
24th of September
Okay.
- Hi. - Hi.
How are you doing?
I’m ok.
Nervous.
A bit anxious.
But I’m good, I’m good.
Ok.
So Louise, we are talking from...
Okay.
Sorry.
So. Louise.
I'm talking to you from your lovely apartment looking out over Dublin.
Louise as you know, I'm talking to you today for
a podcast/audio documentary that
I'm doing as part of a college project.
So, it's just kind of about my experience growing up in foster care
and it’ll touch on your life also.
Yeah.
Ok.
So just to go back to the beginning of things.
Can you tell me a bit about your early life growing up in Dublin?
Yeah, well...
I grew up in Ballyfermot
with my Mam and my Dad and my two older sister's.
And when my dad died we moved just down the road, in with my aunt.
My older sisters had moved out by then so it was just me and my mam
and my aunt of course.
And how did your Dad pass away?
He died of bowel cancer.
He was an alcoholic.
They both were.
He and your Mam were?
Him and my Mam yeah.
So, do you remember much about him?
Not much, no. I suppose...
I was only 5 so...
- Not a lot - Yeah
I remember the smell of the house though.
Do you remember me?
I don't know.
You were very young.
Probably not.
Yeah.
So...
Can you tell me a bit about your mother and
what kind of person she was?
Yeah...
Mam was a quiet soul.
She didn’t really drink before she met my Dad, but...
when she married him she was mad for it.
She didn't really cope well when he died.
We could come down the morning and she'd be putting washing out on the line
and taking a straight back in and putting it back out
and taking straight back in.
Like she was on some type of loop.
She was never diagnosed. It was just...
And do you think you inherited your own mental health struggles from her?
Oh for sure. Yeah.
I’d say that's where it probably all begins, isn't it?
And s...
So...
Was it your decision then?
Like, when did foster care become an option?
I suppose the social workers were around the hospital, you know, they were
involved.
I mean
I told myself that you'd have a better life.
And that maybe I'd have one too.
And did you have a better life?
I don’t know.
How do you know?
I mean I sorted myself out.
I got an education.
So the name “Sophie”...
Was that was that your name that you picked for me?
Yeah.
And why that name? Why “Sophie”?
It was this...
nurse and she was like this...
light in this really dark time her name was Sophie and...
She was really kind to me.
I liked the name.
But “Cara” is lovely too.
Okay, so I know we...
we actually haven't talked about this at all, but...
I was gonna... I was...
I wanted to know if you could tell me anything about my biological father?
I thought we talked about that.
I couldn't really remember. I can't remember.
Because the first time that we spoke on the phone I was...
Pretty sure that you said that you heard he passed away.
Did I?
Yeah.
I don’t know...
It's such a mess from then.
I don't remember. I'm sorry.
- I mean, it was really messy. - It’s just that if you knew that...
If he died then I would have thought you'd know his name.
I don't.
I can't really remember. I'm sorry.
I'm just looking for a name.
Or anything.
I better go.
- Oh - Just leave it, it's fine.
Ok.
Sorry, I thought he would have slept for longer.
- He’s just not himself today. - It’s fine.
Hey, you gonna say hi?
- I know. - Hey!
Oh. What’s that?
- How are ya? - Look. Who is she?
Here’s your sister?
It’s ok honey.
It’s ok.
I know, I know.
I should go.
Oh really? Well you could stay a little while if you want.
No. No, I actually better go.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
- I do have to go, yeah. - Ok.
Do you want me to give you a hand?
No, you’re fine. You’re fine.
Thank you, by the way for letting me into your home.
So... I’ll see you...
Yeah.
Oh Sophie.
I thought about you every day.
I dreamed about you and I thought about you every day.
- Bye. - Bye.